Don't you eat that!: remembering the puppies while cooking

In lieu of children, we have dogs. 

Kaylee (just give her the ball, or she'll whine for.ev.er.)

Remy (probably looking for scraps)

Kaylee and Remy.  They're adorable and have a big-sister-annoying-little-brother relationship.

Brief story A:

  While I was away from the house, the picky-eater was prepping to make beef stew (a loong while ago).  Nature called, and the kitchen was unsupervised for a minute or two.  Upon returning, the two containers that the meat was in were on the floor on different sides of the apartment and the absorbing pads that sit under the meat were gone.  Yeaaah, so those absorbing pads are not supposed to be eaten.  Over the phone, the vet-tech explained that they were going to have to "get rid of" the pads.

SO, to make a dog throw up:

• get some hydrogen-peroxide
• get said dog to drink a few teaspoonfuls
• (depending on weight--talk to your vet)
• have fun with that
• you now have approximately 2 to 3 minutes to get your dog to an area you're okay with him/her yakking
• wait a little bit
• no, really

  They were taken outside for a few minutes and were presumably done.  Wrong.  After going back in, Remy went to where he feels most comfortable, the back of the couch.  He threw up, again, and had managed to get underneath the slip cover.  I'm not going to lie, I'm glad that I wasn't home for this incident.

Brief story B:

  So, one day I was finishing a chicken stock, and just after I strained out the large pieces and tossed them, our little dog Remy, desperately needed out.  So, I ran him downstairs to do his thing.  We were outside maybe a minute or two total.  When I came back inside, I hear Crunch, Crunch.  "Kaylee, NO!  Leave it!" 
  Sure enough, she was in the carpeted bedroom crunching down on a chicken bone.  I felt blood drain from my face.  She was good and spat out what was in her mouth, but my panic was setting in.  I put the garbage can up and saw that it was largely veggies on top, a good sign as far as the choking-on-a-chicken-bone-thing.  However, onions are super bad for dogs.  I grabbed the hydrogen-peroxide and poured a little down her throat, most got on my hand holding her mouth open.  I leashed her up, and took her outside.  Inside of about 2 minutes, she went to the end of the leash and hacked up her stomach contents: onions, carrots, and a bit of chicken meat.  She continued till it was just stomach acid coming up.


SO, what have we learned, living with dogs?

By God, they are excellent at recognizing the opportunity to filch something they know they're not supposed to have.  But it's so delicious!

Put up the damn garbage can the second you leave the kitchen!

If your dog eats something he/she should not, either call your vet or call the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center at (888) 426-4435. Apparently, you might have to pay a consultation fee ($65) for the latter.

There's a solid list of things that can mess them up:
(Referenced from PetHealth on WebMD; you could look there but slide shows annoy some people)

• chocolate (obviously)
• by the way, even just a little will make them not feel well
• don't be that guy
• OH, and white chocolate totally counts; it's just chocolate without the cocoa solids
• onions and garlic
• personally, I'd avoid anything in the family
• grapes (and raisins)
• kids, kidney failure's bad
• avocado
• alcohol (duh)
• when Kaylee was found as a stray, she was throwing up beer
• apparently someone thought it was funny
• don't be that guy
• caffeine
• in all it's forms
• check any meds they get into
• dairy products
• you don't want to clean up the potential aftermath
• macadamia nuts
• Xylitol (diet food/toothpaste/gum sweetener)
• liver failure's bad
• Fat trimmings and bones
• potential pancreatitis with the fat
• bones can splinter and turn into sharp objects in the tummy
• Persimmons, Peaches, and Plums (aka Things with Pits and Seeds)
• pits contain cyanide...it's bad
• seeds can irritate the small intestine
• Raw Eggs
• potential contamination
• there's an enzyme that makes B vitamin absorption a problem
• Raw Meat and Fish
• potential contamination
• possible parasites...potentially really bad
• Salt
• sodium ion poisoning is bad
• Sugary stuff
• if it makes you fat and brings you closer to diabetes, it'll do the same to your dog, but faster
• Yeast dough
• eww
• can rise in the tummy and hurt
• yeast ferments = alcohol = super bad
• Meds (namely, yours)
• seriously?  don't do it
• keep them way out of the way
• Pantry items
• baking powder = highly toxic
• baking soda = highly toxic
• SPICES
• nutmeg = highly toxic

By and large, it's best to just feed them DOG food, and some unprocessed foods (not listed above) can be okay....

Remy... he loves banannas.

Portal before eating is not a good idea: Thanksgiving 2011

Uuuuuggghh....

I do not throw up easily, but watching the picky eater power through the game Portal, I'm super nauseous.  It's really neat, and very entertaining to even just watch, but whoa, damn. 

For approximately half-an-hour, I was grumpy, did not move quickly, required dimmed lights and TV volume, and demanded ibuprofen and cold water.... This was also before dinner even started.


(Slightly) Earlier that day:

Before officially waking up, I would wake up for a minute or two at a time.  I was already trying to sort out a plan of attack for the day: make sure to use a bowl for the Cajun Injector, so the jar doesn't get contaminated this year (we were a little too excited last year and didn't think), prep for the roast vegetables, and I dozed off again.

When I officially woke: everything was already cooking, the jar was contaminated again (not a huge deal, we used it all any way), and I was rushed to get the veggies prepped.  The in-laws and the picky-eater figured that I needed the rest.  The Wednesday prior, I had two job interviews!  I woke up crazy early, like I do, and didn't get to sleep till way late.

Honestly, I can't complain. Seriously, waking up to a huge, delicious meal with little to no prep work is pretty awesome.



For my contribution, the roast vegetables, I forgot the butter (yes, I was that sleepy/out-of-it-from-portal still), but it was still quite tasty.  In a future potluck post, I'll include pictures and the recipe.  Oh, and for future reference, I'm not leaving cherry/grape tomatoes whole when I roast them any more. 

When halved, the juices reduce inside and provided a very concentrated flavor.  If, weirdly, you prefer them whole, I suggest poking them with a paring knife to help them reduce slightly... and also not explode when you jab them with a fork (ouch).

A small event, but awesome all the same.

We have, yeast rolls (we fight over them), turkey dressing, roast veggies, and Cajun injected turkey... and our standard wine.

Yeeeaaah, I wanted to show some of the prep work, but that didn't happen. Maybe I'll get better at taking pictures as I go, but I only have so many hands!

My big thing is that we were together and family came to visit when we were unable to travel.

The puppies were bitter that they didn't get more scraps (I blame the picky eater for the scraps they did get--just meat) but were on their best behavior in hope of someone dropping some delicious.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Potluck!: Rosemary Chocolate Chip Shortbread

4th Annual Pumpkin Party Potluck and Carving Extravaganza:

...we missed the first three, but that's okay.

Guests were asked to bring something with pumpkin (ingredient or theme).  Well... we went a different way.

We were slacking with preparation and have a limited budget, so I went to one of my go-to make-and-go recipes, rosemary-chocolate chip shortbread.  It's pretty amazing and works well during the holiday season.  So, I viewed it as having the ambiance of the season (don't judge; I didn't want to deal with pumpkin).  It's been a big hit, and friends have even requested it, which makes me happy.

I first learned of the recipe from Melissa d'Arabian, and it's really easy.  You can use a mixer to make this happen, but I find it simple enough to do by hand.  Also, it's a small arm workout, so that's always good.

Here's everything you'll need, sans an implement to cut the pieces.
Yes, that's a pizza pan, it works well for this purpose.

Rosemary Chocolate Chip Shortbread:

1 stick unsalted butter (softened)
*if you only have salted butter, lessen or omit salt, depending on your taste
[Note: If you don't have softened butter, cut it into pieces in the bowl you'll be working in and leave on or near the stove for a little while.  This speeds the softening process.]
1 cup flour
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup chocolate chips (can use chunks and the like)
pinch salt (I use kosher)
pinch rosemary chopped finely (there's a bush in the courtyard, so we use fresh)
[Note: A little goes a long way]

• Preheat oven to 300 degrees
• Cream butter with sugar and salt
• Add rosemary
• Add flour 1/4 cup at a time
• Knead or work together
• I use the spatula to do this
• Flour baking sheet
• Put onto sheet

• press down to about 1/2 inch
• (I find it difficult to roll)
• form into a rounded shape
• (I find this easiest)
• Bake about 25 minutes
• Let cool
• you can put it on a cooling rack, but it's not necessary
• Slice into small pieces
• I prefer to use a pizza cutter to do this
• BONUS: you get to eat the funny little pieces that aren't big enough to present
• Put into an airtight container

People seemed to like them and complemented us.  When we packed up to leave the party, there were only crumbs left (not my doing, I only had 1 piece).  That says it all.

Potluck!: how we transport some awesome

I love potlucks.

It's seems like less stress for the host, and guests feel like they contribute, (or, at least, we do).

There are two courses of action that we normally take when going to a potluck:

1. Do the normal thing of simply bringing a prepared dish from home
2. Show up early and cook there

Okay, I know that there are some people that scoff at the latter, but it's not just making the dish.

With us showing up early, there's also lots of helping the host with prep work, and the hosts of the parties that we've done this for have always been happy. Bonus: this means that the options for dishes open up, and more deliciousness can be had.


Potlucks are starting to kick up again, so I'll post about what we cook.

Stew!

STEW!


Welcome to part of our tiny-ass kitchen.  We set up an assembly line for the meat.

From the left: raw meat (cut into chunks, trimmed of most fat, and dried), meat that's browning, beef base in the back, meat that is browned, and a bottle of red wine... waiting for glory.

Mmmmm....stew.  It makes me very happy.  It's also one of the few things that will prod the picky-eater to actually consume vegetation, granted it's just carrots and herbage (there are onions, but those are "saved" for me).

Yay!  Look, even the wine is happy it's stew time.

(I know, I still haven't fixed the date-thing on the camera yet)

We'd made stew/brisket/Bavarian pot roast (I can't remember, but it's a recipe from their family cookbook) a ways back, and the other chunk of meat has been living in the ice-box since.  So, a few days ago, while making a "quick" trip, the picky-eater finally remembered about stew.  We were in the wine aisle looking for our preferred wine and ran across our standard red, ravenswood zinfandel (the cheap bottle from the grocery), that we only use for stew.  Neither of us is a fan of reds... unless it's a port (and that's just me).



As I was finally having my pea and pesto soup, the picky-eater was in charge of starting things.  In my informal culinary education, I've learned a few things, and I've taught, ahem, other people these things.  Whether certain people admit to this it their own business.

• Brown that meat!



Delicious Meeeat!

• in order to do this properly, listen to Julia Child 
• make sure the meat is dry
• don't crow the pan!  (it'll steam otherwise, ugh)
• don't fret about brown bits, that's flavor
• after browning everything, we sauted some sliced garlic and deglazed with some wine
• it's been a while since we made this, and we'll saute the onions with the brown bits next time
• (I'd already thrown them in the pot)
• (Don't fret if you didn't do this either, it'll still be glorious)

• Use stock (if you have it) instead of water
• broth is the next best
• (any time a recipe calls for water, replacing it with stock/broth will usually enhance the dish)
• in some things stock/broth would take away from the primary flavor of the dish
• pea and pesto soup is one--the water allows you to taste the bright flavors of the pea and pesto; stock/broth would mask this
• Use veggies/meat that make you happy

• I know that there are thousands of recipes, but remember that you can substitute where you want
• I live with an onion-hater (I'm reformed), so I just made them into bigger, easier-to-pick-out pieces
• there are potatoes, by the way
• realize that some flavors go better together, but you know what you like
• I accept the funny looks when I eat an orange, take a bite of pizza, and drink chocolate milk in one sitting
• (They are delicious!)
• Slow cookers are amazing



Go ahead, tip it all in

• seriously, you should get one
• we got ours during a special at our grocery store
• 6qt (I think) CrockPot for about $20, and a beef brisket
• FOR THE WIN!
• they are perfect for the lazy/busy home cook
• sleep, work, walk your puppies while cooking some delicious

Over the course of the day, we added various seasoning and herbs.  We favor kosher salt, fresh-cracked black pepper, sage, basil, thyme, and coriander (all dried; we're on a budget and don't have space or proper light to grow our own herbs).  We started with 2 tsp of each herb, save coriander; salt and pepper were to taste.

Someone was a little overzealous with the apple-cider vinegar, so we mellowed it with two installments of roux made of 3 Tbs of butter and flour each.  We love apple-cider vinegar in stew.  It adds the right kick and brightness that we look for, just be very careful when adding it.  A little goes a long way




24-ish hours later, we have some serious delicious.  You should be jealous and plan on making some yourself.

Sick = no fun: My stomach fell in with the wrong crowd and rebelled against me...

Okay, so I realize that it may seem like I'm not being super regular about writing here.  I have an, apparently, silly desire to proof things I write prior to posting.  Also, I'd like to include pictures at some point, and the picky-eater in the family has yet to show me how to upload said pictures; (I'll attempt, but I'm not sure how that'll go).  So, I'm trying to be better about more regularly posting.

My sustinance for most of this horrid day. 

(Ignore the date; it's wrong.  I/We'll fix it at some point.)

ANYhoo, I woke up on Wednesday at 6:30ish in the morning to wicked heartburn and found that my stomach was not happy with me.  This continued throughout the day, and I was told that it might well be food-poisoning.  I was very sad because I had eaten the best mandarin orange I've had in a really long time the night prior.  I'd gotten two, so the second was still posted up in the fridge... waiting....

My stomach continued to rebel for the entire day.  While this was not pleasant, I was beginning to consider a stomach flu rather than food-poisoning.  (It was confusing because I didn't have all the symptoms of either.)  Not a great thing, but I don't think you realize how awesome that orange was.  I subsisted largely on pepto-knock-off (tastes awful, by the way; go get the real stuff), water, and strawberry-flavored gatorade provided by my awesome spouse (my body was leaching electrolytes).

The puppies were wonderful and snuggled with me all day.  It was also cold, so they curled up under the blanket and served as living heaters. The picky-eater convinced me to eat some chicken-noodle soup, and it was wonderful.  We normally make a home-made version, but work ran late, and I was in no state to shop and cook.  When we get around to making it, I'll post the recipe.

As of now, my stomach and I are on good terms.  I still haven't eaten the second orange out of fear of my stomach rebelling again, but it's waiting there... taunting me.

WTF is Polenta?: And, other things you might have never heard of till the Food Network came out

So, for reference, I'm from south-eastern Louisiana--the New Orleans Metro area.  (Who Dat!)  Also, I grew up with folks who lived during the depression and love all things that come in a can.

As with living in any area, this means that I'm exposed to certain things and not necessarily exposed to others.  While it's a plain concept, it seems that cook books, cooking shows, and the interwebs can get confused about this.

A brief story:

I was watching 10 Dollar Dinners, because Melissa d'Arabian has some pretty neat and helpful ideas, and she described how to make a wonderful, creamy polenta.  Huh, this substance looks pretty appetizing, and I wait for the ingredients, "dried polenta," hmmm.  No worries, I'll look up how to make polenta on their site. Ingredients: Dried polenta.  Okay, Google, you've got this, right?  1 cup medium-grain yellow polenta*.  WTF?  It wasn't until one of my neighbors was getting rid of a magazine that it finally said that polenta was ground corn meal.
*(Since this incident, more recipes were added on Food Network's site that actually explain, and the wiki page was updated). 

I decide that I'm going to cook it.  We had some ground yellow corn meal--actually we had a lot for some reason--and I figured we could use it. 

Well hell, it's basically GRITS but with a different name!

Ha!  Culture differences are funny.

                                                                                                                                                

SO, here are some things that I'd never heard of...till the advent of Food Network and The Cooking Channel

(I don't want to get into the long, proper definitions; this is how I'd explain it if I were talking to you.)

Leek:  I just thought they were super huge green onions, and, apparently, you don't use the green part.  I still haven't tried this...to my knowledge.

• leek: a vegetable where the stalk is used
• the bottom and green portions are trimmed

  

Green Onions/ Scallions: Okay, so, I've gotten confused in the past, and annoyed, when I hear someone say to use scallions when what I see them use is what I call green onions.  I thought there was some subtle variation that I'd never heard of before.  It wasn't until I got a copy of Commander's Kitchen that it was finally explained that green onions and scallions are the same thing.  In the region I'm from, we say green onions instead.

• Green Onions = Scallions
• Oh, and personally, I use the green part too, so long as it's healthy.
  --I actually thought that was the only part you were supposed to use for a few years, oops.

Anise: Yeah, if I hear one more person say, "It kind of has an anise flavor," my eyes might roll out of my head.  I've heard "star-anise," but beyond seeing a friend use it to mull some wine, (pretty good, by the way), I have no direct experience with it.

• anise: a spice; can be in ground or whole form
• it has a licorice-like flavor

Coriander: I just new that it is used often in French cooking, and that's only because my thoughtful mother-in-law got me the hard-back set of Mastering the Art of French Cooking, (you should be at least a little jealous).

• coriander: an herb; can be in ground or whole form
• in whole form, it looks similar cilantro
• I prefer ground--it makes my life easier

Couscous: Don't hate!  This just sounded like hippie, rabbit food when people talked about it... the very few times it happened.  This has saved my tummy many-a-time when I was to tired too make something more labor intensive.

• couscous: basically little bits of semolina (what most pasta is made of); there are two popular types (that I know of)
• Instant- small pellets of semolina (what we typically see in a box)
• Israeli- are bigger and pearl like

Shallot:  It' looks like a dark, over-grown clove of garlic... at least, that's what it looked like to me

• shallot: in the onion family; more mild than an onion
  
  By God, it's one of my new favorite things. I view it as a milder, single-serve onion, which is super convenient for me, saves Pyrex container space, and is less offensive to the resident onion-hater

Yeah, I'm certain that I will learn about more things as I expand my palate, but this was a respectable start.

Why the hell not: A brief intro to me

Oh, hi. I see you've decided to read this thing. Cool. I'm not sure how this will go, or if I'll get annoyed with it for some reason. So, we'll see.

SO, I've had a lot of time on my hands lately...and by lately, I mean the better part of a year-and-a-half.

Here's a short-ish version of this time:

• Ended internship for grad program,

• Wedding shower in Louisiana (baked brie with caramel sauce is amazing… and kind of tastes like pancakes when cold)
• Back for graduation (Yay! Master degree!)
• Northern Louisiana for a friend's wedding
• Back home for a different friend's wedding
• New Orleans for own wedding prep
• Own wedding (super awesome, by the way, and I still day dream about the food)           
• prep and wedding turned into several days of partying with most of our favorite people
• Honeymoon (The Mermaid and the Alligator, they are AMAZING; there were even dogs that acted as our surrogate puppies while we were there)
• Back home to start the job search/ prep for license exam/ find an apartment
• Find apartment
• Take and pass exam (Yay! apparently no one wanted to even talk to me without one)
• Finally get an interview, get offered an amazing job with great benefits--oh, wait, they have to rewrite the job posting so I'm qualified

• ...two months, my cousin's wedding, and many conversations and rewritten job postings later... sorry, that solid first job, (with pay and benefits good enough to make me wait around for two months), is not going to happen
• Many more resumes sent and applications submitted
• Three-month stint at an elementary school = fabulous
• Start supervision
• Several great interviews, no offers
• Two more friends get married
• I start nannying and I learn that I can potentially start a private practice

Obviously, there are things that I’ve forgotten/blocked out and many things in between.  Also, there are various details regarding decisions that I’m leaving out because it’d take way longer.  I’m too impatient for that right now.

 

During, and in between all these events, I delved into food.  No, I wasn’t drowning my sorrows in pasta, pizza, and ice-cream…okay, maybe a little…but I was figuring out how to stretch a dollar and make what we have in the pantry/fridge work while keeping it interesting.

I half-jokingly say that I watched WAY too many cooking shows and call myself a stay-at-home-puppy-parent.  I married an wonderful person who afforded me the amazing opportunity  to concentrate on finding a job that I actually want.  Many, many hours were devoted to this endeavor, but during the down time, I watched cooking shows.

It made me realize that there were far more possibilities in the pantry and fridge than I originally thought.  I learned techniques and tricks that were pretty nifty and helped us save money.  This helped to make me feel like I was contributing to the home…and stay sane.

I’m embracing my heritage’s culture surrounding food and the bonding had while making, eating, and contemplating the next meal.  Along the way, I've learned many things and eaten many things... mostly good, and I'm thankful for these experiences.  It’s helped me, my marriage, and I hope you might find it helpful as well…or at least amusing at times.