Merry Happy Chrismachanukwanzakah: Starting a new job during the holidays is...interesting (I realize this is way late)

[Note:  I realize that this is WAY late, but it happens.  Some things are way easier to write, and sometimes I don't have the patience to deal with the pictures that I prefer to accompany a particular post...
...Also, I got pretty busy with that job-thing.  Ahh, well.]

A story of the holidays:

I started a job!:  I'll pause for your well-wishes... Aww, thanks.  You're pretty awesome too.

  Yeah, so I started this position just before the holidays, which was...interesting.  We're supposed to go out and find people in the community (not selling stuff...that crap makes me shudder and want to punch somebody), but during the holidays, people ain't out.  All that is its own stress, but that's not the focus of the posts I put out there.  It's just a little background.

  In order to get to my place of work, it's close to an hour there and an hour back... it is the suck, my friends.  When I get home, I'm super wiped, and that turns into me not being good about fixing my lunch for the next day.

  I quickly see just how expensive it can become when you eat out for lunch for a few days.

  Yeah, fuck that noise.  I was much better starting week 2.

  ANYhoo, this part leads into the next.

Chanuka PJ Party: My bad.

I get home after a long, but purposeful day, and I'm about to pass out on the couch.
  Picky-eater: "Aren't we supposed to be somewhere tonight?"

  Me:  "Fuck!  Hanukah!"

Yeah, my bad!  So, the party had already started, and there was NO time to cook.  Luckily, the picky-eater had asked that I pick up a pecan pie on the way home and we always keep a bottle of white wine in the fridge.

Non-chip party contribution FTW

Christmas Eve Day: STOCK! 

We decided to do our gift exchange early (probably because I'm an impatient creature), and the picky-eater got a Le Creuset stock pot for me!  It was one of the many items that remain on our registry.  I'm not complaining, though.  It's an easy go-to list for future gifts. 

The picky-eater is very difficult to shop for, so I went ahead and got a game that'd been mentioned.  Oh, word to the lazy, all new Wii games require the Wii motion plus attachment.  And, don't worry, they did not, in fact, stop making them... contrary to what folks at some Gamestops might say.

GoodEats!

Christmas Day:  Chill.

For the puppies?:  Oh, yeah, they get Dingos.  With a solid supply already in the closet, we decided to forgo our customary Dingo Candy Cane.

Pumpkin Plotting: Meet Mortimer

Okay, so I have a bit of a competitive streak...occasionally.

Our apartment complex has a yearly pumpkin carving contest.

I like being creative, so I thought we'd just do it for fun...

...then they said they'd take off up to $100 off rent.


Umm, yes.

Year 1: Mortimer's Day Out

So, being broke the first time around, there was the balance between doing something awesome and doing something as cheaply as possible.

Behold!

Mmmm...pumpkin tastes good.

We got 3rd place!  That's $50 off rent
(I thought we should have gotten 2nd and the awesome Dia de los Muertos themed one should've gotten first...some stupid snake thing won...I'm not bitter.)


And, credit where credit is due.  We were inspired by this:

Mad props, and can't currently find the link for it.

Year 2: Little Mortimers

Again, trying to balance awesome and cost, we caught a church pumpkin patch on the last day and got a few for way less that we could elsewhere.

Huzzah!

There are more...and they're working together!
(Dude, I know, the date is all kinds of messed up...I fixed it later)

We got 3rd place, again! $50 off rent
(I'm fine with this.  A GIANT spider made of several large pumpkins  with a web-wrapped body made of several more large pumpkins won 1st, and something adorable won 2nd.  Estimating the cost of those large pumpkins, we made a net win better than their win...so, HA!)


Year 3: Mortimer is a hardcore vegan

I don't know why, but we got a crazy awesome deal on a huge pumpkin.  Normally we carve the day of and about an hour or so prior, but because I was actually employed this year, it all had to be done the night prior.

He's so creepy...it makes me happy.

I didn't let the picky one set it outside till right before work...I don't want other bitches having time to get awesome inspiration from us and have time to do something about it. (Can you see the competitive side coming out?  My college roomie would be so proud.)

Hardcore vegan...only Mortimer can be a cannibal (see Year 1) and still be vegan.

Place: Alas, we did not place this year.  The winners were more...delicate than Mortimer.  Ah, well.  For participating, got $25 off rent.  Woot!


I think Mortimer will continue to be a feature of future pumpkin carving endeavors, and I'm always a fan of creating tradition.  This one is just a little dark and twisted, but I'm okay with that.

Epic garlic bread

I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty friggin' pleased with myself.

The picky-eater suggested that we get some garlic bread to accompany our butter-roasted chicken and veggies.  I, being stubborn, thought we could do better.  

CHALLEEENGE!

That's a happy oven.

I started prep when the picky-one was en route from work.  This meant that I was moving quickly and forgot to take pictures... but that will be remedied later (I only prepped one-half of the loaf).

Garlic Bread (at least MY garlic bread)

1 halved loaf of French bread
1 stick butter (softened and unsalted--so you can control the salt level)
1/2 bunch fresh parsley (chopped super fine... and get the stems out)
4/5 cloves garlic (minced super fine)
koshar salt (to taste)
rubber spatula (to do the mixing and the spreading)
bowl (to do said mixing in... and with sufficient space to contain everything)

-Essentially, I made a compound-butter and spread it on the bread

-Before making the compound-butter, you need to decide whether you want softer or crustier bread

• Softer--proceed normally
• Crustier--toast the bread first
• I'm not giving guidelines... that's your preference
• bake it till it's done

-To make the compound butter:

• Dump all the parsley and garlic onto the butter in a bowl
• It'll look like WAY too much parsley
• ...actually, it MIGHT BE, for you
• The picky-eater made some disparaging comments
• the bread didn't survive long...
• ...I win.
• Use the spatula to integrate the parsley and garlic with the softened butter
• I find it easiest to kind of fold it together
• You may choose to salt this during the mixing process
• not necessary, but that's your deal

-Half the loaf

• Investing in a long, proper bread knife was a happy decision
• you'll thank me

-Spread the butter onto a halved loaf of French bread

• If you only want half the loaf baked right now, stick the bread in the freezer
• There should also be about half the butter-combo left as well
• you can put this in parchment paper, roll, and secure it before freezing
• we don't have parchment paper, so we stuck it in a baggie
• allow to soften before using for this purpose
• there are other things you can do with it
• No, I'm not in the mood to get into that right now...
• ...I'll get to that later

 -Sprinkle salt over the spread

• Why? 
• It'll hit your tounge faster and allow the need for less salt overall
• Still doubt me?
• Fine, then sprinkle some on the bread before you spread the butter on there

The garlic bread was ready before anything else... (partly because I'm historically impatient)... and I ate the hell out if it.  I couldn't even finish a whole piece of chicken or all my veggies (and that's just not normal).

Oh, yes... you should totally be jealous...
and you should go make some yourself because it's easy...
and delicious