Capsaicin: I like it when my mouth cries a little

Okay, so when I was learning about receptors in one of my psychology classes, we learned about capsaicin. 

The most pertinent piece I remember from it was that you can actually overload them and make the capsaicin receptor die.  Yup.  Sounds hard to do?  Nope.  (At least, not regarding your mouth).


My brief, tame story:


If you eat fast enough, there's always spicy contact on the tongue.


[How I learned about my friend's story]:  During the first cochon de lait (Cajun pig roast) the picky eater and I attended, we were on the front porch.  I was not to keen on wading through the many people crowded inside.  I did, however, want a rum and coke, (half-and-half, thank you).
A dear friend was already heading to the cooler for beer and offered to mix my drink.  Awesome! 
A few minutes later he presents the drink, I take one sip and nearly choke.  When it tasted right for him, it was about 75% rum, 25% coke...if that.
Then I learned that most of his tongue doesn't work.


My friend's, more pronounced, story:

So, as a child, some remember the taste of soap after uttering a bad word.  My friend instead, stuck out his tongue and held hot sauce on it.  This was a common occurrence, and, eventually, he started asking for more because he liked the taste.  His mom stopped using it after that.

Remember that whole over-loading receptor-thing from earlier?  Yeah, that killed most of the capsaicin receptors on his tongue.






SO, any time I cook something spicy, it's inevitably too spicy for some.  When I try things that are supposed to be spicy, they just taste good.  Or, when other folks make comments about the spice, I'm surprised because....well, it didn't seem spicy.

Basically, you can train to handle spicy things...if you're really wanting to, but be warned--just because your mouth can handle it, doesn't mean the rest of your system can...just sayin'.





Some precautions:

When handling ingredients containing a bit of capsaicin, do be careful.

--Option 1: gloves  (they annoy me)

--Option 2: con someone else to do that particular prep work (...I plead the 5th)

--Option 3: use your tools like a monkey, and don't actually make physical contact with the ingredient  
(I do pretty well with this...but it may be problematic for others)

--Option 4: do what you do, and deal with it afterwards  (good luck with that)

• rinse like mad
• wash
• wash, again
• I like using a soap/hand wash that has milk in it
• milk helps combat the capsaicin
• they form micelles around the capsaicin
• basically, they surround it and get it the hell away from your pain receptor
• wash, again
• still try and avoid your eyes
• ...and sensitive bits.

When eating things with capsaicin, you might try some of these:

--Cool down 1: milk

• the standard for good reason
• see micelle discussion from Option 4
• I've found that, the higher the fat content of the milk/dairy product, the more effective it is
• makes sense
• you need fat in order to make a micelle

--Cool down 2: cheese

• add some of this to spicy pasta or whatever else it'd be appropriate in (to you, at least)
• same concept as above
• also, it's hard to go wrong with cheese

--Cool down 3: acceptance

• accept that small part of yourself that's a bit of a masochist
• ...at least, culinarily speaking...
• no judgments!

Creole Cream Cheese: ...the hell?

When I mention Creole cream cheese, the most popular response (aside from a confused look) is, "What's that?"

 

It's a cheese regional to the New Orleans area.

 

My first encounter with Creole cream cheese with through Baskin Robbins when I was in high school... I think.  They had a Creole cream cheese ice cream and it was delightful.  This was my last encounter with it until I found a recipe for it in my copy of Commander's Kitchen.

 

By God, I was on a mission. 

 

I was contemplating buying some, but it was nowhere to be found in Austin.  That left ordering.  The best reviews I've gotten are for Bittersweet Plantation and Dorignac's on Veteran's Blvd in Metairie, LA.

Psssh!  I wasn't wanting to order, and it was a long while till I was visiting back home.

"I'm making it!"

...one small problem--finding rennet.  It was a pain.

 

After going to HEB, Whole Foods (who USED to have it), and Central Market, we were finally able to find rennet at Austin Homebrew Supply. 

Oh, and you need to understand, unless you live in the NOLA region, it's not going to be exactly the same.  It's that whole weather thing--humidity FTW.  Conditions are ideal there... I'm in Texas... there's been a super-long drought... not ideal.

Accept this fact, move on, and enjoy the awesome that you'll still get.

-SO, it's actually a pretty simple recipe:

1 gallon skim milk

1/2 cup butter milk

2 tablets rennet dissolved in 1/2 cup warm water

(I halved the recipe, because I don't have a bowl large enough...yet)


-[Hardware--cause' Lord knows I didn't have most of this stuff when I set out to make this]

Cheese cloth

1 very large non-conductive bowl (glass or steel will work)

1 average sized colander

some clips to hold the cheese cloth in place

1 very large tupperware or some other container large enough to house the colander and the crap-ton of whey that's going to drain

A good bit of saran wrap


-For when you're done with the heafty part:
(Always good to know before getting everything else done--hopefully saving someone a second trip out to the store)

[This is the traditional way to eat it, but I'm not the law, make up your own mind as to how you'd like to enjoy this awesome]

half & half

sugar

whatever berry/fruit you might want to eat with it
(if you're in to that)



-SO, here's what you do:

-First, get all your dairy together

God, I love dairy...

-Pour all the skim milk into said bowl

• (Things tend to work better, if they're room temperature, but I'm historically impatient...and forgetful, and that's not good when dairy is involved)

-Pour in the butter milk

• -stir 

-Dissolve rennet tablet in water



(It's in the little measuring cup)
Looks gross, but it'll be okay... I promise

• -I suggest swirlling it just a bit before pouring it in
• this helps to lessen or prevent the dissolved bits from sticking to the bottom of the cup

-Have your spoon ready (seriously)
-Pour in the rennet-water solution

• Stir ONCE (seriously, once)
• The first time I made this, I stirred maybe three times, and it broke up the forming cheese. The WHOLE THING was off...WAY firmer than intended.
   
• Cover the whole damn thing in saran wrap and leave out somewhere where it won't be bothered by temperature variations or any other nonsense
• (My bad--totally forgot to take a picture after this--will repost once I make this again)

-After about 24 hours, you'll see a giant floating disk  that's separated from the edges

• That's cheese, my friend
• don't touch it
• seriously
• Wait another 12 hours

-Get your colander set-up together
  (OR, your cheese mold, if you're being fancy--not sure if you need the cheese cloth for that one)

• Dampen the cheese cloth
• you've got some options
• enough cheese cloth to fold over itself
• two pieces of cheese cloth
• I usually go for the former
• if the cheese cloth is not wanting to stay in place, this is where the clips come in
• Set the whole thing over the sink
• it's gonna be messy
• other folks say to spoon it into the colander
• it's not preferable to break up the mass
• so, I just dump the whole thing in
• as delicately as possible, of course
• good luck with that
• don't be tempted to pour off some of the excess whey before transferring it to the colander
• the draining is part of the process
• don't mess up the process!
• After a bit of the whey has drained out, put the whole damn thing into your container
• you won't be able to have all the whey drain out at once
• again, part of the process
• Cover that thing in saran wrap
• if you plan, you can use the same saran wrap that you used earlier
• it might look something like this:

Yeah, that.
It's not pretty, but it's effective.

• Oh, and do your best to get a good seal
• we have an open, glass pitcher for filtered water
• whey-flavored water is quite unpleasant first thing in the morning
• Now you wait, for 48 hours
  (Hey, I said it was simple, not quick...)
• Oh, and you're baby-sitting...a little
• every now and then, pour off the whey that drains

See that viscous looking stuff at the bottom there?  Yeah, that's whey.  Get rid of it.
(Or, you can save it--I've been told that there's other stuff you can do with it, but I don't remember what it is)

-After 48 hours...

• Have a tightly sealed container ready that can hold the solids comfortably
• I use a pyrex container
 
• I'll forewarn you that (if it lasts that long), you'll have to drain a little whey off every now and again
• Should last about 2 weeks if tightly sealed and kept refrigerated

-To Serve Creole Cream Cheese:

-Get out some sort of dish
  (Maybe one that makes you feel proper or fancy)

• Spoon some cheese into said dish
• Sprinkle some sugar over cheese
• Pour some half & half over the cheese and sugar
• Now, here's where you have a decision to make
• you can start eating it as is
• you can fold everything in for a minute
• it'll become one
• After making that decision, you actually have another one
• fruit?
• If so, CONGRATULATIONS! 
• You've made Creole Cream Cheese Evangeline
   (If you used a mix of at least 4 fruits...but still, you're at least very close!)
  
  
  [Again, my bad...I got excited and didn't actually take a picture of the final product.  I'll post it later.]
   
• I know there are other things you can do with it, but this is the only one I've tried so far
• Most importantly...you get to say, "I made cheese."
• Don't lie
• You're totally at least a little proud
• It's okay...
• ...enjoy it :)

Oh, by the way, we don't own a microwave: that's right, you can, in fact, survive without a microwave

Yeah, I historically get one of two responses:

• A funny look of skepticisim with a verbal or implied, "Huh?"
• "Oh, yeah!  We haven't had one for years!"
• please remember that I'm in Austin, TX

Why would we subject ourselves to this? 

Honestly, our current kitchen is super f-in' small.


During the apartment search, we learned 2 things about the Austin area:

• It is insanely rare to find a one-bedroom without the bathroom in the bedroom
• (I'm sorry, I don't need friends/family crashing from out of town coming into our bedroom in the middle of the night)
• If you're paying less than $1,000/month, and want to be decently close to the city, you're getting a galley kitchen
• Accept it and move on
• If, freakishly, your experience has been different, don't tell me; it'll just make me sad

We were able to find an apartment with a pretty open layout, bathroom outside of the bedroom, and a look-through in the galley kitchen.  Yay!

 How has this affected our eating habits?

Well, just about all of our formal cooking is on the stove or oven, save for popcorn.  A family friend gave us an air-popper from our registry, and it's wonderful.

The only thing I think I'll have issue with is edamame.  It's been forever since I've had it, but the best way to prepare it at home is in a microwave.

Reheating
It's a bit more labor-intensive.  Depending on what it is, a little water may be needed to help the process, or we use the oven.

For pizza, I prefer reheating in the oven.  I find it can get pretty soggy in the microwave, since the water is what is being affected in there.

And, honestly, I sometimes will eat things cold.  Usually this is because I'm too tired/lazy to put forth more effort, but some things taste good cold.  It's given me a new appreciation for how temperature affects the flavor of foods.  Cold food, for me, isn't nearly as potent as warm, which is also something to remember if you're wanting to make something to serve cold or straight-up freeze.

Unexpected benefits

Yes, there are some benefits to doing this...at least for us.  I really love food, and I married the person who introduced me to butter/ (again, I lived with older folks--it was smart balance and fleischmann's).  So, if we don't keep it in check, we could easily turn into heffers.


Time:

• It's not so easy to just heat something up. 
• I'm forced to think about what the hell I want to eat that I'm willing to put forth effort in making.
• If I've just finished eating, it takes longer to make something else.
• My belly has time to let my brain realize that I'm not actually hungry enough to eat that entire pint of ice-cream

Microwave snacks/meals:

• I often hear people talk about how much sodium/preservatives/(insert other scary, health/figure-threatening thing) there are in pre-packaged foods
• Ha!  I have no means to prepare most of them
• When I heated my lunch up at my internships, my meal took less time
• Usually, my meal had different portions that didn't ALL need to be heated
• I only need 30-45 seconds to reheat my artichoke hearts sauteed with garlic
• I got to avoid the hostile line of hungry folks waiting to shove their meals into the microwave

I'm sure I'll find more spiffy things, but that's all I have the patience for right now.

Bacon Wednesday: The birth of a tradition

Yes, you read that correctly.  

Bacon Wednesday

A Brief-ish Story:

So, as you may not realize, up until a few months ago, I avoided most pork products. 

Por qua?! 

Well, I've always loved Biology and even had that as one of my majors as an undergrad (WTF? Yeah, that's a different story).  There have been a handful of times that I've actually gotten grossed out.  The most infamous for me was in 5th grade when I learned about trichinosis and the trichinosis worm (yeah, you can look that up on your own... I started to and got grossed out again).

As a result, I lost my taste for pork products... even bacon... and I LOVED bacon.

Cut to a few months ago.  I accepted that many of the cooking shows I was filling my time with used bacon, namely apple-wood-smoked bacon and maple bacon.  It was actually starting to sound appetizing again.  I had previously done research and been assured that it's only really in wild pigs that trichinosis might be a problem, so I was taking baby steps

So, one night, I'm watching Kelsey's Essentials, and she's making this epic looking mac & cheese with bacon, and topped with bacon soaked panko bread crumbs.  I texted the picky eater, who was working super late, I WANT APPLE-WOOD-SMOKED BACON.

I woke the next day and found that I had bacon waiting for me.  Huzzah!

Yeah, the picky-eater knew that this opportunity was likely fleeting and had to be jumped-on.  Well done!

I had my first bacon in years, and it was glorious.

After eating it throughout the week, I realized that this should not be an every-day event, so I had an idea.

We don't go out a whole lot since all of our friends are busy, working people.  So, we didn't always have event to look forward to.

Bacon Wednesday was born! 

We make the effort to either have breakfast or brinner* together without the TV or other electronics on.

*(breakfast for dinner; yes, I poached it from Scrubs; I liked it, move on)

Wednesday is perfect because it's the middle of the week, and that's the perfect pick-me-up to look forward to.

My Favorite Bacon Wednesday Dish: "Not Eggs-Benny"

-Bake bacon on a rack

Keep a close eye on it and cook to your preference

I like mine a little crispier

(save drippings if you're into that) 

Before = eww

After = delicious

-Start the hollandaise (that's right)

The makings: melted butter on stove, 1 egg yolk, salt
1tsp cold water and 1tsp lemon juice, 1 Tbsp-ish cold butter
 (you'll also need 1 more Tbsp cold butter)

I am pretty stubborn and wanted to make it by hand using Mastering the Art of French Cooking
The first time I made it, I ended up making a pretty large batch.  The picky-eater ended up not liking it, so there was a LOT left over.

This was my first attempt at using only 1 egg yolk

• Melt 1/2 stick of butter and set it to the side

• Pour water and lemon juice into bowl with yolk
• beat until sticky

• Set over simmering water
• stir in bit of cold butte
• it'll be creamy
• beat until you can see the bottom of the bowl
• (yes, I realize that a glass bowl would be better, but I don't have one)
• (be prepared!)
• remove from heat and beat in cold Tbsp butter

• While beating, slowly pour in melted butter
• start with drops
• should be a very heavy cream
• don't add the milky stuff at bottom of melted butter

• Season with salt, pepper (if you like), and lemon juice
• some other folks add a dash of hot sauce, but I haven't tried that just yet
• keep warm...but not too warm, or it'll separate a bit
• it cooled a little too much, and it was reheated a little too quickly 
• the bowl needs to be well insulated
• (a glass bowl and/or heavy bottom non non-stick sauce pan is/are on the list of things to get)

• What about the rest of the lemon?
• If I have no pressing uses, I freeze it

-Fry an egg over-easy
  (it's actually super easy)

Sorry about the mess...

I learned a tip from Claire Robinson on 5-Ingredient-Fix.  I credit her with largely renewing my love of bacon.

Don't try flipping the egg
When the egg starts to turn white around the edges, pour a little bit of water into the pan and cover the pan with a lid (she used a metal lid). 

[This is also when I add the seasoning, it sticks]

... it was also cleaning day

She waits about a minute-and-a-half, but I don't like having to think about timing things.  Instead, I just use a glass lid so I can see when a proper film has been created over the yolk.





-Fry a piece of bread
(That's my preference, do whatever)

I like honey wheat.
Keep the heat on the pan going from the egg (wipe out any left-over egg if there is some... and you feel like it)
-->about medium to medium high, depending on your patience

Spray some olive oil directly onto the bread
(I have a refillable spray bottle that I keep it in)

Put the oiled side down onto the hot pan

Take this time to spray to other side of the bread

Flip when browned to your liking

Slide onto plate, top with bacon, then egg, then hollandaise

 Eat with fork and knife, so you can get all that awesome in every bite

You're welcome.

Don't you eat that!: remembering the puppies while cooking

In lieu of children, we have dogs. 

Kaylee (just give her the ball, or she'll whine for.ev.er.)

Remy (probably looking for scraps)

Kaylee and Remy.  They're adorable and have a big-sister-annoying-little-brother relationship.

Brief story A:

  While I was away from the house, the picky-eater was prepping to make beef stew (a loong while ago).  Nature called, and the kitchen was unsupervised for a minute or two.  Upon returning, the two containers that the meat was in were on the floor on different sides of the apartment and the absorbing pads that sit under the meat were gone.  Yeaaah, so those absorbing pads are not supposed to be eaten.  Over the phone, the vet-tech explained that they were going to have to "get rid of" the pads.

SO, to make a dog throw up:

• get some hydrogen-peroxide
• get said dog to drink a few teaspoonfuls
• (depending on weight--talk to your vet)
• have fun with that
• you now have approximately 2 to 3 minutes to get your dog to an area you're okay with him/her yakking
• wait a little bit
• no, really

  They were taken outside for a few minutes and were presumably done.  Wrong.  After going back in, Remy went to where he feels most comfortable, the back of the couch.  He threw up, again, and had managed to get underneath the slip cover.  I'm not going to lie, I'm glad that I wasn't home for this incident.

Brief story B:

  So, one day I was finishing a chicken stock, and just after I strained out the large pieces and tossed them, our little dog Remy, desperately needed out.  So, I ran him downstairs to do his thing.  We were outside maybe a minute or two total.  When I came back inside, I hear Crunch, Crunch.  "Kaylee, NO!  Leave it!" 
  Sure enough, she was in the carpeted bedroom crunching down on a chicken bone.  I felt blood drain from my face.  She was good and spat out what was in her mouth, but my panic was setting in.  I put the garbage can up and saw that it was largely veggies on top, a good sign as far as the choking-on-a-chicken-bone-thing.  However, onions are super bad for dogs.  I grabbed the hydrogen-peroxide and poured a little down her throat, most got on my hand holding her mouth open.  I leashed her up, and took her outside.  Inside of about 2 minutes, she went to the end of the leash and hacked up her stomach contents: onions, carrots, and a bit of chicken meat.  She continued till it was just stomach acid coming up.


SO, what have we learned, living with dogs?

By God, they are excellent at recognizing the opportunity to filch something they know they're not supposed to have.  But it's so delicious!

Put up the damn garbage can the second you leave the kitchen!

If your dog eats something he/she should not, either call your vet or call the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center at (888) 426-4435. Apparently, you might have to pay a consultation fee ($65) for the latter.

There's a solid list of things that can mess them up:
(Referenced from PetHealth on WebMD; you could look there but slide shows annoy some people)

• chocolate (obviously)
• by the way, even just a little will make them not feel well
• don't be that guy
• OH, and white chocolate totally counts; it's just chocolate without the cocoa solids
• onions and garlic
• personally, I'd avoid anything in the family
• grapes (and raisins)
• kids, kidney failure's bad
• avocado
• alcohol (duh)
• when Kaylee was found as a stray, she was throwing up beer
• apparently someone thought it was funny
• don't be that guy
• caffeine
• in all it's forms
• check any meds they get into
• dairy products
• you don't want to clean up the potential aftermath
• macadamia nuts
• Xylitol (diet food/toothpaste/gum sweetener)
• liver failure's bad
• Fat trimmings and bones
• potential pancreatitis with the fat
• bones can splinter and turn into sharp objects in the tummy
• Persimmons, Peaches, and Plums (aka Things with Pits and Seeds)
• pits contain cyanide...it's bad
• seeds can irritate the small intestine
• Raw Eggs
• potential contamination
• there's an enzyme that makes B vitamin absorption a problem
• Raw Meat and Fish
• potential contamination
• possible parasites...potentially really bad
• Salt
• sodium ion poisoning is bad
• Sugary stuff
• if it makes you fat and brings you closer to diabetes, it'll do the same to your dog, but faster
• Yeast dough
• eww
• can rise in the tummy and hurt
• yeast ferments = alcohol = super bad
• Meds (namely, yours)
• seriously?  don't do it
• keep them way out of the way
• Pantry items
• baking powder = highly toxic
• baking soda = highly toxic
• SPICES
• nutmeg = highly toxic

By and large, it's best to just feed them DOG food, and some unprocessed foods (not listed above) can be okay....

Remy... he loves banannas.

WTF is Polenta?: And, other things you might have never heard of till the Food Network came out

So, for reference, I'm from south-eastern Louisiana--the New Orleans Metro area.  (Who Dat!)  Also, I grew up with folks who lived during the depression and love all things that come in a can.

As with living in any area, this means that I'm exposed to certain things and not necessarily exposed to others.  While it's a plain concept, it seems that cook books, cooking shows, and the interwebs can get confused about this.

A brief story:

I was watching 10 Dollar Dinners, because Melissa d'Arabian has some pretty neat and helpful ideas, and she described how to make a wonderful, creamy polenta.  Huh, this substance looks pretty appetizing, and I wait for the ingredients, "dried polenta," hmmm.  No worries, I'll look up how to make polenta on their site. Ingredients: Dried polenta.  Okay, Google, you've got this, right?  1 cup medium-grain yellow polenta*.  WTF?  It wasn't until one of my neighbors was getting rid of a magazine that it finally said that polenta was ground corn meal.
*(Since this incident, more recipes were added on Food Network's site that actually explain, and the wiki page was updated). 

I decide that I'm going to cook it.  We had some ground yellow corn meal--actually we had a lot for some reason--and I figured we could use it. 

Well hell, it's basically GRITS but with a different name!

Ha!  Culture differences are funny.

                                                                                                                                                

SO, here are some things that I'd never heard of...till the advent of Food Network and The Cooking Channel

(I don't want to get into the long, proper definitions; this is how I'd explain it if I were talking to you.)

Leek:  I just thought they were super huge green onions, and, apparently, you don't use the green part.  I still haven't tried this...to my knowledge.

• leek: a vegetable where the stalk is used
• the bottom and green portions are trimmed

  

Green Onions/ Scallions: Okay, so, I've gotten confused in the past, and annoyed, when I hear someone say to use scallions when what I see them use is what I call green onions.  I thought there was some subtle variation that I'd never heard of before.  It wasn't until I got a copy of Commander's Kitchen that it was finally explained that green onions and scallions are the same thing.  In the region I'm from, we say green onions instead.

• Green Onions = Scallions
• Oh, and personally, I use the green part too, so long as it's healthy.
  --I actually thought that was the only part you were supposed to use for a few years, oops.

Anise: Yeah, if I hear one more person say, "It kind of has an anise flavor," my eyes might roll out of my head.  I've heard "star-anise," but beyond seeing a friend use it to mull some wine, (pretty good, by the way), I have no direct experience with it.

• anise: a spice; can be in ground or whole form
• it has a licorice-like flavor

Coriander: I just new that it is used often in French cooking, and that's only because my thoughtful mother-in-law got me the hard-back set of Mastering the Art of French Cooking, (you should be at least a little jealous).

• coriander: an herb; can be in ground or whole form
• in whole form, it looks similar cilantro
• I prefer ground--it makes my life easier

Couscous: Don't hate!  This just sounded like hippie, rabbit food when people talked about it... the very few times it happened.  This has saved my tummy many-a-time when I was to tired too make something more labor intensive.

• couscous: basically little bits of semolina (what most pasta is made of); there are two popular types (that I know of)
• Instant- small pellets of semolina (what we typically see in a box)
• Israeli- are bigger and pearl like

Shallot:  It' looks like a dark, over-grown clove of garlic... at least, that's what it looked like to me

• shallot: in the onion family; more mild than an onion
  
  By God, it's one of my new favorite things. I view it as a milder, single-serve onion, which is super convenient for me, saves Pyrex container space, and is less offensive to the resident onion-hater

Yeah, I'm certain that I will learn about more things as I expand my palate, but this was a respectable start.