LEMON!!! Orzotto

A brief story:

Okay, so I was craving something bright, relatively light, but warm and saucy...weird, I know.  When I aquired a zester, I got pretty excited and figured that this was the route to take.  I had also recently discovered the awesome-ness that is orzo pasta.

I tried it with just a little zest one time and juice another...meh.   Not lemoney enough...

Then I decided to forgo subtlety and go for broke. 
(seriously, why do I bother trying to do subtle?  It's not my strong suit...)

Zest and juice = LEMON!!!

It was still missing a little something, so I added a bit of garlic. Done.




LEMON!!! Orzotto:

Half an onion (diced) or 1 decent sized shallot (diced)
1 or 2 lemons (zest THEN juice... it just doesn't work the other way around)

garlic minced (I use at least one big one, but figure out what's best for you)

1/4 cup to 3/4 cup dry orzo pasta

[WTF is Orzo?: it's a pasta, but it looks like bloated rice.  I like to substitute it for rice when I'm not in the mood for rice or there are ingredients that don't twirl well with longer pastas.]

Dry Basil

Kosar Salt

Hot water--I use a kettle, 'cause it's super useful and lives on my stove top

A bit of butter (maybe 1/2 Tbsp, depending on how much you make) and a little olive oil (to help the butter not burn)
-->It'll be fine if you just want to use olive oil

It'd been a while since I'd made it, and I forgot the onion/shallot.
My bad.
(figured it'd be better to post some pictures than wait till I make it again)

--I pretty much use medium heat the whole time

1. Start heating water
   -It's super friggin annoying to get to the point where it's needed, and then you have to wait
   -Get in the habit now
   -The same goes for pre-heating an oven
2. Melt butter in a medium skillet with a little olive oil
3. Saute onion/shallot till clear
   -Add some salt now
   -(You'll be adding salt as you go)

   
   

   

   Toasting the orzo...exciting.

   -pretend that you're seeing a lovely picture of minces onion/shallot being sautéed here. Thanks :) 

4. Add garlic
   -don't let it burn, but cook it for about a minute or so
5. Add DRY orzo
   -WTF? Why dry?
   -Well, like when making an actual rizzotto, it toast the orzo and adds another depth of flavor
   -I also use this method when making cous cous--you're welcome
6. Add lemon zest
7. 
   

   

   You should be able to see the orzo is nice and toasted

   When sufficiently toasted, add lemon juice
   -Again, WTF?
   -Well, since lemon is the main flavor I'm going for, I wanted to make sure that it was well absorbed into the orzo
   
   
8. When the juice is absorbed, slowly start adding hot water
   -Stir! Don't let that awesome burn or get too sticky
   

   -->You can also tell when to add more water by stirring and seeing how long the "line" stays
   -if it stays for a bit, add more water

   
   

   

   See the line?  Awesome. Now, add more water.

   
   
9. Test as you go
   -For taste
   -For done-ness
10. As you're approaching done, add basil
    -Too soon, and it might burn
    

     
    
    

    
    

The starch in the orzo makes it kind of creamy/goopy, so it'll stay together well on a fork.

 

 

Delicious...and, it's even more delicious when you don't forget the onion/shallot.
(I was wondering why it didn't fill the bowl as well as it normally does.
That's when I finally remembered about the onion/shallot.  Oops.)

 

Pea and Pesto Soup: Everything's Green

I could say that I was inspired by St. Patty's...but that'd be a dirty lie.
 
At this point, it's just a happy coincidence
 
I intended on having this done the weekend before last, but I'm accepting that it's taking time to adjust to my new job...and that means some things get put on the back burner...but I'm here, and I'm letting you know about this glorious soup.
 
It brings me great joy.
 

 
So, let's go.
 
 
A small story:
 
  I'm an odd creature, as many of those close to me can attest.  How this often relates to food is in the form of... interesting cravings.
 
  For some bizarre reason I was craving something that was green, savory, and bright.
 
  Yeah... even I was like, "Dude, WTF?!"
 
  Well, it was apparently put out into the universe, and it came back to me.  Huzzah!
 
 
  Thank you, Nigella Lawson.  This is exactly what I was wanting.  Oh, and it's super easy.
 
 
 
Pea and Pesto Soup:
 
You'll need a blender
  -one of those with a lovely removable center
  -there are some dangers with blending hot/very warm things*
     
3 cups Frozen Peas

(don't worry about fresh)

•  you could add a little more, if you're wanting a thicker soup
• ...or just add a little less water
• that's your deal 

4 Tbsp Pesto
(store bought is fine--I use Texafrance Garlic Pesto...LOVE garlic)
 
2 Green Onions
(trimmed of root)
 
A few squeezes of Lime juice
(I took her advice and used that weird plastic container of juice that lives with the lemons and limes)
 
1 1/2 tsp Kosher Salt
(She suggested 1 tsp, but I like a little more)
 

All the goodies...you may have noticed that everything involved in this is green....
 ...save the water and salt, but you get the idea.



 
To make:
 

• Add salt, onions, and lime juice to water
   
• Bring mixture to boil 
• Add peas
• Bring back to a boil
• Boil for about 7 minutes
•  While this is boiling
• add pesto to blender
• this is super small, but I hate to waste anything
• when you're done spooning the pesto in, go ahead and rinse in in the pot of peas
• get all of the flavor!

  

  Pesto--waiting for glory!

   
• Remove onions
• yeah, if you forget and buzz it up with the soup, it'll be slimy
• ...eww.
• ...just...eww.

  

  Blender--waiting...
  ...so it doesn't explode and scald my ass.

• Pour whole potful into blender
• Let sit for a few minutes
• Place lid on blender
• cover opening in lid with folded over towel
• hold down firmly 
•  some of the soup may get on the towel
• accept and move on
   
• Blend*
• well, duh, but it made me nervous blending a hot soup the first time
• ...that whole may-explode-thing
• if you're nervous, go ahead and start at a lower setting and work up to puree
• Pour into bowl
• you could put into a thermos, but that's your deal.
• Enjoy your very green soup

Dang, soup.  You're super friggin green.
(Oh, and that's a bottle of rum in the corner...Whoops!)

 
 

Capsaicin: I like it when my mouth cries a little

Okay, so when I was learning about receptors in one of my psychology classes, we learned about capsaicin. 

The most pertinent piece I remember from it was that you can actually overload them and make the capsaicin receptor die.  Yup.  Sounds hard to do?  Nope.  (At least, not regarding your mouth).


My brief, tame story:


If you eat fast enough, there's always spicy contact on the tongue.


[How I learned about my friend's story]:  During the first cochon de lait (Cajun pig roast) the picky eater and I attended, we were on the front porch.  I was not to keen on wading through the many people crowded inside.  I did, however, want a rum and coke, (half-and-half, thank you).
A dear friend was already heading to the cooler for beer and offered to mix my drink.  Awesome! 
A few minutes later he presents the drink, I take one sip and nearly choke.  When it tasted right for him, it was about 75% rum, 25% coke...if that.
Then I learned that most of his tongue doesn't work.


My friend's, more pronounced, story:

So, as a child, some remember the taste of soap after uttering a bad word.  My friend instead, stuck out his tongue and held hot sauce on it.  This was a common occurrence, and, eventually, he started asking for more because he liked the taste.  His mom stopped using it after that.

Remember that whole over-loading receptor-thing from earlier?  Yeah, that killed most of the capsaicin receptors on his tongue.






SO, any time I cook something spicy, it's inevitably too spicy for some.  When I try things that are supposed to be spicy, they just taste good.  Or, when other folks make comments about the spice, I'm surprised because....well, it didn't seem spicy.

Basically, you can train to handle spicy things...if you're really wanting to, but be warned--just because your mouth can handle it, doesn't mean the rest of your system can...just sayin'.





Some precautions:

When handling ingredients containing a bit of capsaicin, do be careful.

--Option 1: gloves  (they annoy me)

--Option 2: con someone else to do that particular prep work (...I plead the 5th)

--Option 3: use your tools like a monkey, and don't actually make physical contact with the ingredient  
(I do pretty well with this...but it may be problematic for others)

--Option 4: do what you do, and deal with it afterwards  (good luck with that)

• rinse like mad
• wash
• wash, again
• I like using a soap/hand wash that has milk in it
• milk helps combat the capsaicin
• they form micelles around the capsaicin
• basically, they surround it and get it the hell away from your pain receptor
• wash, again
• still try and avoid your eyes
• ...and sensitive bits.

When eating things with capsaicin, you might try some of these:

--Cool down 1: milk

• the standard for good reason
• see micelle discussion from Option 4
• I've found that, the higher the fat content of the milk/dairy product, the more effective it is
• makes sense
• you need fat in order to make a micelle

--Cool down 2: cheese

• add some of this to spicy pasta or whatever else it'd be appropriate in (to you, at least)
• same concept as above
• also, it's hard to go wrong with cheese

--Cool down 3: acceptance

• accept that small part of yourself that's a bit of a masochist
• ...at least, culinarily speaking...
• no judgments!

Creole Cream Cheese: ...the hell?

When I mention Creole cream cheese, the most popular response (aside from a confused look) is, "What's that?"

 

It's a cheese regional to the New Orleans area.

 

My first encounter with Creole cream cheese with through Baskin Robbins when I was in high school... I think.  They had a Creole cream cheese ice cream and it was delightful.  This was my last encounter with it until I found a recipe for it in my copy of Commander's Kitchen.

 

By God, I was on a mission. 

 

I was contemplating buying some, but it was nowhere to be found in Austin.  That left ordering.  The best reviews I've gotten are for Bittersweet Plantation and Dorignac's on Veteran's Blvd in Metairie, LA.

Psssh!  I wasn't wanting to order, and it was a long while till I was visiting back home.

"I'm making it!"

...one small problem--finding rennet.  It was a pain.

 

After going to HEB, Whole Foods (who USED to have it), and Central Market, we were finally able to find rennet at Austin Homebrew Supply. 

Oh, and you need to understand, unless you live in the NOLA region, it's not going to be exactly the same.  It's that whole weather thing--humidity FTW.  Conditions are ideal there... I'm in Texas... there's been a super-long drought... not ideal.

Accept this fact, move on, and enjoy the awesome that you'll still get.

-SO, it's actually a pretty simple recipe:

1 gallon skim milk

1/2 cup butter milk

2 tablets rennet dissolved in 1/2 cup warm water

(I halved the recipe, because I don't have a bowl large enough...yet)


-[Hardware--cause' Lord knows I didn't have most of this stuff when I set out to make this]

Cheese cloth

1 very large non-conductive bowl (glass or steel will work)

1 average sized colander

some clips to hold the cheese cloth in place

1 very large tupperware or some other container large enough to house the colander and the crap-ton of whey that's going to drain

A good bit of saran wrap


-For when you're done with the heafty part:
(Always good to know before getting everything else done--hopefully saving someone a second trip out to the store)

[This is the traditional way to eat it, but I'm not the law, make up your own mind as to how you'd like to enjoy this awesome]

half & half

sugar

whatever berry/fruit you might want to eat with it
(if you're in to that)



-SO, here's what you do:

-First, get all your dairy together

God, I love dairy...

-Pour all the skim milk into said bowl

• (Things tend to work better, if they're room temperature, but I'm historically impatient...and forgetful, and that's not good when dairy is involved)

-Pour in the butter milk

• -stir 

-Dissolve rennet tablet in water



(It's in the little measuring cup)
Looks gross, but it'll be okay... I promise

• -I suggest swirlling it just a bit before pouring it in
• this helps to lessen or prevent the dissolved bits from sticking to the bottom of the cup

-Have your spoon ready (seriously)
-Pour in the rennet-water solution

• Stir ONCE (seriously, once)
• The first time I made this, I stirred maybe three times, and it broke up the forming cheese. The WHOLE THING was off...WAY firmer than intended.
   
• Cover the whole damn thing in saran wrap and leave out somewhere where it won't be bothered by temperature variations or any other nonsense
• (My bad--totally forgot to take a picture after this--will repost once I make this again)

-After about 24 hours, you'll see a giant floating disk  that's separated from the edges

• That's cheese, my friend
• don't touch it
• seriously
• Wait another 12 hours

-Get your colander set-up together
  (OR, your cheese mold, if you're being fancy--not sure if you need the cheese cloth for that one)

• Dampen the cheese cloth
• you've got some options
• enough cheese cloth to fold over itself
• two pieces of cheese cloth
• I usually go for the former
• if the cheese cloth is not wanting to stay in place, this is where the clips come in
• Set the whole thing over the sink
• it's gonna be messy
• other folks say to spoon it into the colander
• it's not preferable to break up the mass
• so, I just dump the whole thing in
• as delicately as possible, of course
• good luck with that
• don't be tempted to pour off some of the excess whey before transferring it to the colander
• the draining is part of the process
• don't mess up the process!
• After a bit of the whey has drained out, put the whole damn thing into your container
• you won't be able to have all the whey drain out at once
• again, part of the process
• Cover that thing in saran wrap
• if you plan, you can use the same saran wrap that you used earlier
• it might look something like this:

Yeah, that.
It's not pretty, but it's effective.

• Oh, and do your best to get a good seal
• we have an open, glass pitcher for filtered water
• whey-flavored water is quite unpleasant first thing in the morning
• Now you wait, for 48 hours
  (Hey, I said it was simple, not quick...)
• Oh, and you're baby-sitting...a little
• every now and then, pour off the whey that drains

See that viscous looking stuff at the bottom there?  Yeah, that's whey.  Get rid of it.
(Or, you can save it--I've been told that there's other stuff you can do with it, but I don't remember what it is)

-After 48 hours...

• Have a tightly sealed container ready that can hold the solids comfortably
• I use a pyrex container
 
• I'll forewarn you that (if it lasts that long), you'll have to drain a little whey off every now and again
• Should last about 2 weeks if tightly sealed and kept refrigerated

-To Serve Creole Cream Cheese:

-Get out some sort of dish
  (Maybe one that makes you feel proper or fancy)

• Spoon some cheese into said dish
• Sprinkle some sugar over cheese
• Pour some half & half over the cheese and sugar
• Now, here's where you have a decision to make
• you can start eating it as is
• you can fold everything in for a minute
• it'll become one
• After making that decision, you actually have another one
• fruit?
• If so, CONGRATULATIONS! 
• You've made Creole Cream Cheese Evangeline
   (If you used a mix of at least 4 fruits...but still, you're at least very close!)
  
  
  [Again, my bad...I got excited and didn't actually take a picture of the final product.  I'll post it later.]
   
• I know there are other things you can do with it, but this is the only one I've tried so far
• Most importantly...you get to say, "I made cheese."
• Don't lie
• You're totally at least a little proud
• It's okay...
• ...enjoy it :)

Merry Happy Chrismachanukwanzakah: Starting a new job during the holidays is...interesting (I realize this is way late)

[Note:  I realize that this is WAY late, but it happens.  Some things are way easier to write, and sometimes I don't have the patience to deal with the pictures that I prefer to accompany a particular post...
...Also, I got pretty busy with that job-thing.  Ahh, well.]

A story of the holidays:

I started a job!:  I'll pause for your well-wishes... Aww, thanks.  You're pretty awesome too.

  Yeah, so I started this position just before the holidays, which was...interesting.  We're supposed to go out and find people in the community (not selling stuff...that crap makes me shudder and want to punch somebody), but during the holidays, people ain't out.  All that is its own stress, but that's not the focus of the posts I put out there.  It's just a little background.

  In order to get to my place of work, it's close to an hour there and an hour back... it is the suck, my friends.  When I get home, I'm super wiped, and that turns into me not being good about fixing my lunch for the next day.

  I quickly see just how expensive it can become when you eat out for lunch for a few days.

  Yeah, fuck that noise.  I was much better starting week 2.

  ANYhoo, this part leads into the next.

Chanuka PJ Party: My bad.

I get home after a long, but purposeful day, and I'm about to pass out on the couch.
  Picky-eater: "Aren't we supposed to be somewhere tonight?"

  Me:  "Fuck!  Hanukah!"

Yeah, my bad!  So, the party had already started, and there was NO time to cook.  Luckily, the picky-eater had asked that I pick up a pecan pie on the way home and we always keep a bottle of white wine in the fridge.

Non-chip party contribution FTW

Christmas Eve Day: STOCK! 

We decided to do our gift exchange early (probably because I'm an impatient creature), and the picky-eater got a Le Creuset stock pot for me!  It was one of the many items that remain on our registry.  I'm not complaining, though.  It's an easy go-to list for future gifts. 

The picky-eater is very difficult to shop for, so I went ahead and got a game that'd been mentioned.  Oh, word to the lazy, all new Wii games require the Wii motion plus attachment.  And, don't worry, they did not, in fact, stop making them... contrary to what folks at some Gamestops might say.

GoodEats!

Christmas Day:  Chill.

For the puppies?:  Oh, yeah, they get Dingos.  With a solid supply already in the closet, we decided to forgo our customary Dingo Candy Cane.

Pumpkin Plotting: Meet Mortimer

Okay, so I have a bit of a competitive streak...occasionally.

Our apartment complex has a yearly pumpkin carving contest.

I like being creative, so I thought we'd just do it for fun...

...then they said they'd take off up to $100 off rent.


Umm, yes.

Year 1: Mortimer's Day Out

So, being broke the first time around, there was the balance between doing something awesome and doing something as cheaply as possible.

Behold!

Mmmm...pumpkin tastes good.

We got 3rd place!  That's $50 off rent
(I thought we should have gotten 2nd and the awesome Dia de los Muertos themed one should've gotten first...some stupid snake thing won...I'm not bitter.)


And, credit where credit is due.  We were inspired by this:

Mad props, and can't currently find the link for it.

Year 2: Little Mortimers

Again, trying to balance awesome and cost, we caught a church pumpkin patch on the last day and got a few for way less that we could elsewhere.

Huzzah!

There are more...and they're working together!
(Dude, I know, the date is all kinds of messed up...I fixed it later)

We got 3rd place, again! $50 off rent
(I'm fine with this.  A GIANT spider made of several large pumpkins  with a web-wrapped body made of several more large pumpkins won 1st, and something adorable won 2nd.  Estimating the cost of those large pumpkins, we made a net win better than their win...so, HA!)


Year 3: Mortimer is a hardcore vegan

I don't know why, but we got a crazy awesome deal on a huge pumpkin.  Normally we carve the day of and about an hour or so prior, but because I was actually employed this year, it all had to be done the night prior.

He's so creepy...it makes me happy.

I didn't let the picky one set it outside till right before work...I don't want other bitches having time to get awesome inspiration from us and have time to do something about it. (Can you see the competitive side coming out?  My college roomie would be so proud.)

Hardcore vegan...only Mortimer can be a cannibal (see Year 1) and still be vegan.

Place: Alas, we did not place this year.  The winners were more...delicate than Mortimer.  Ah, well.  For participating, got $25 off rent.  Woot!


I think Mortimer will continue to be a feature of future pumpkin carving endeavors, and I'm always a fan of creating tradition.  This one is just a little dark and twisted, but I'm okay with that.

Epic garlic bread

I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty friggin' pleased with myself.

The picky-eater suggested that we get some garlic bread to accompany our butter-roasted chicken and veggies.  I, being stubborn, thought we could do better.  

CHALLEEENGE!

That's a happy oven.

I started prep when the picky-one was en route from work.  This meant that I was moving quickly and forgot to take pictures... but that will be remedied later (I only prepped one-half of the loaf).

Garlic Bread (at least MY garlic bread)

1 halved loaf of French bread
1 stick butter (softened and unsalted--so you can control the salt level)
1/2 bunch fresh parsley (chopped super fine... and get the stems out)
4/5 cloves garlic (minced super fine)
koshar salt (to taste)
rubber spatula (to do the mixing and the spreading)
bowl (to do said mixing in... and with sufficient space to contain everything)

-Essentially, I made a compound-butter and spread it on the bread

-Before making the compound-butter, you need to decide whether you want softer or crustier bread

• Softer--proceed normally
• Crustier--toast the bread first
• I'm not giving guidelines... that's your preference
• bake it till it's done

-To make the compound butter:

• Dump all the parsley and garlic onto the butter in a bowl
• It'll look like WAY too much parsley
• ...actually, it MIGHT BE, for you
• The picky-eater made some disparaging comments
• the bread didn't survive long...
• ...I win.
• Use the spatula to integrate the parsley and garlic with the softened butter
• I find it easiest to kind of fold it together
• You may choose to salt this during the mixing process
• not necessary, but that's your deal

-Half the loaf

• Investing in a long, proper bread knife was a happy decision
• you'll thank me

-Spread the butter onto a halved loaf of French bread

• If you only want half the loaf baked right now, stick the bread in the freezer
• There should also be about half the butter-combo left as well
• you can put this in parchment paper, roll, and secure it before freezing
• we don't have parchment paper, so we stuck it in a baggie
• allow to soften before using for this purpose
• there are other things you can do with it
• No, I'm not in the mood to get into that right now...
• ...I'll get to that later

 -Sprinkle salt over the spread

• Why? 
• It'll hit your tounge faster and allow the need for less salt overall
• Still doubt me?
• Fine, then sprinkle some on the bread before you spread the butter on there

The garlic bread was ready before anything else... (partly because I'm historically impatient)... and I ate the hell out if it.  I couldn't even finish a whole piece of chicken or all my veggies (and that's just not normal).

Oh, yes... you should totally be jealous...
and you should go make some yourself because it's easy...
and delicious

Our gifts aren't subtle either...

A brief story:


As the picky-eater got used to my odd cravings, I became less inhibited with vocalizing those cravings.


One of the more recent ones related to gummy candy.  I think they're wonderful and always enjoy, not only the taste, but the satisfying sensation of biting into one.  Only problem, they're usually super small. 


"I wish I had a gummy the size of a hand-fruit!"


Think about it.  If you agree with the"mouth-feel" comment, this is a no-brainer.  That first bite would be insanely satisfying--oh, but then there's more left to be had!  Huzzah!




This was only a concept for me and did not expect it to go beyond vocalizing the desire for such a thing to exist.


Cut to my birthday--at a friend's house, the picky-eater hands me a package that came in the mail.  It feels like a friggin' brick.  I open it, and it's a 5-pound sour-apple gummy bear (that's right, singular).  I have a look of confusion, excitment, and horror.



Size comparision: 15 lb dog and 5 lb gummy bear
(He's not phased by the things I do anymore)

Yeah, so that first bite was AWESOME! 

...I'm not sure how long the bear will actually last.

Seriously, this would be an epic center-piece to a Willy-Wonka candy party
(Don't lie...you'd go)

...oh, and it's pretty tasty...

...yes, I ate straight off of this

(Where does one find such awesome?)  click here-->  BEAR!!!

Oh, by the way, we don't own a microwave: that's right, you can, in fact, survive without a microwave

Yeah, I historically get one of two responses:

• A funny look of skepticisim with a verbal or implied, "Huh?"
• "Oh, yeah!  We haven't had one for years!"
• please remember that I'm in Austin, TX

Why would we subject ourselves to this? 

Honestly, our current kitchen is super f-in' small.


During the apartment search, we learned 2 things about the Austin area:

• It is insanely rare to find a one-bedroom without the bathroom in the bedroom
• (I'm sorry, I don't need friends/family crashing from out of town coming into our bedroom in the middle of the night)
• If you're paying less than $1,000/month, and want to be decently close to the city, you're getting a galley kitchen
• Accept it and move on
• If, freakishly, your experience has been different, don't tell me; it'll just make me sad

We were able to find an apartment with a pretty open layout, bathroom outside of the bedroom, and a look-through in the galley kitchen.  Yay!

 How has this affected our eating habits?

Well, just about all of our formal cooking is on the stove or oven, save for popcorn.  A family friend gave us an air-popper from our registry, and it's wonderful.

The only thing I think I'll have issue with is edamame.  It's been forever since I've had it, but the best way to prepare it at home is in a microwave.

Reheating
It's a bit more labor-intensive.  Depending on what it is, a little water may be needed to help the process, or we use the oven.

For pizza, I prefer reheating in the oven.  I find it can get pretty soggy in the microwave, since the water is what is being affected in there.

And, honestly, I sometimes will eat things cold.  Usually this is because I'm too tired/lazy to put forth more effort, but some things taste good cold.  It's given me a new appreciation for how temperature affects the flavor of foods.  Cold food, for me, isn't nearly as potent as warm, which is also something to remember if you're wanting to make something to serve cold or straight-up freeze.

Unexpected benefits

Yes, there are some benefits to doing this...at least for us.  I really love food, and I married the person who introduced me to butter/ (again, I lived with older folks--it was smart balance and fleischmann's).  So, if we don't keep it in check, we could easily turn into heffers.


Time:

• It's not so easy to just heat something up. 
• I'm forced to think about what the hell I want to eat that I'm willing to put forth effort in making.
• If I've just finished eating, it takes longer to make something else.
• My belly has time to let my brain realize that I'm not actually hungry enough to eat that entire pint of ice-cream

Microwave snacks/meals:

• I often hear people talk about how much sodium/preservatives/(insert other scary, health/figure-threatening thing) there are in pre-packaged foods
• Ha!  I have no means to prepare most of them
• When I heated my lunch up at my internships, my meal took less time
• Usually, my meal had different portions that didn't ALL need to be heated
• I only need 30-45 seconds to reheat my artichoke hearts sauteed with garlic
• I got to avoid the hostile line of hungry folks waiting to shove their meals into the microwave

I'm sure I'll find more spiffy things, but that's all I have the patience for right now.

I don't do well with caffeine

I learned something today, or, rather, I relearned something about myself today.  Caffeine is a son-of-a-bitch.




A brief history of our relationship:


-Being from the NOLA area, many folks love coffee.  As a child, I loved getting the small cups of coffee my aunt would make after meals.  So, when coffee shops became a thing, I went and expected the same awesome.  Fail.  It tasted NOTHING like what I was used to, and it dried my tongue out for at least two days which left me in a foul mood.  F' that.




-I contemplated it, but avoided it mostly in undergrad after one or two unpleasant encounters.


While last minute cramming for an econ test, a friend gave me several RedBulls.  We didn't exactly end up sleeping, and I felt like my heart was tweaking.  I avoided it mostly thereafter.




As the picky-eater quickly learned when we got together, to keep me happy and functioning, I need: sleep, food, and warmth.  Take one of those away and I get grumpy.  Take two of those away, and me no work properly.  In the rare instances when all three are not present--no one needs to be around me.




-At a get-together in Louisiana, I tried to sip coffee again, and it was great! WTF? Finally, it was made clear. Coffee and chicory! Not just plain-whatever-coffee. Cafe' Du Monde, French Market, and Community are the only ones I like.  I'd never sought it out but would occasionally partake at get-togethers.






-Today:
-The picky-eater and I had Bacon Wednesday brunch, and I thought a cafe' au lait sounded delightful.  I made a strong cup and poured it and some hot milk into a mug,... and it almost spilled over.  I wasn't that careful in estimating how much milk--ah, well.  It was transferred into a larger mug.  I added my customary 3 tablespoons of sugar (I know, super horrible--another reason that I don't partake that often).  We started catching up on a great deal of TV we've missed since I started work, and I drank faster than I normally do...


...I'm all shaky right now, and it's not fun.  I need to do something, but I know enough to not do anything super important because it's a crap shoot.  It might feel more efficient, but it's a dirty lie.  It's sad because I finally found the taste from my childhood.


If you can handle caffeine and like a New Orleans-style Coffee and Chicory, here's how to do a cafe' au lait properly.  Seriously, it's super simple.


Cafe' au Lait


Equal parts coffee and hot milk poured into a mug that will actually contain the full amount of liquid.


I will not preach about strength of the coffee--that's your deal. 


For that wedding registry-thing, some friends got us a bodum French press.  I use two scoops of coffee using the scoop that comes with the press.  When I don't suck it down in 15 minutes, this works for me.



I hope you found my pain amusing.

Good day.

First Meal of the New Year: a solid start

Souffleed omelette with sauteed shallots and a homemade strawberry-banana-blackberry smoothie

It sounds way harder than it is.  Oh, I should mention that I was too excited to take pictures--my bad.  I'll make it again and post later.

My morning... and by morning, I mean a brunch kind of morning:

It was friggin' cold outside and in the apartment, so I took much longer to crawl out of bed than normal.

The dogs weren't moving, so they were no help.  I was supposed to have an earlier brunch with some friends, but that was postponed till people recovered from celebrating.

As a small, symbolic gesture of what I'd like to continue in the new year, I actually got formally dressed and made myself look presentable.  On a normal day, I would still be in slippers, a robe, and lounge shorts/pants.

I was needing to eat a little something and didn't want to think too much, so I picked two things I've made in the past that are pretty darn easy.

A souffleed omelette and a smoothie.


Smoothie:

The smoothie contents will vary based on what I actually have, but we picked up a giant bag of frozen strawberries from the store, and I had some left-over blackberries that I froze from a little ways back.

I don't have specific proportions, but I've found what works for me

1 Banana (frozen is preferred, but not necessary)
Oat flour*
Frozen fruit (I've only tried berries so far)
Milk
(Yogurt--if you have it/like it.  I did not have it.)

*(Why the hell are you using that?  Well, I like the idea of having some grain in my diet, and it helps thicken it some.)

Blender (ideally with a removable center in the lid)

• put banana, oat flour, and fruit (strawberries and blackberries) into blender
• I recommend adding any powder ingredients prior to milk and/or yogurt 
• add in enough milk for the other ingredients to mix 
• pulse on puree or crush ice 
• turn on mix and determine how thick you want the smoothie to be
• while on, take out the center of the lid and add additional milk till you achieve the consistency you prefer
• pour into a cup/glass/whatever
• for excess (which I make purposefully), I put it in small pyrex containers and freeze them as a cheap dessert for later or a no-fix breakfast
• set in fridge till you're done with whatever else you're fixing
• IF you're going to drink it pretty soon
• it might get a little thin, if left in the fridge too long

Souffled Omelette:

Okay, it is a little more involved than a regular one, but I prefer it to regular omelettes.

I first learned about this from Laura Calder on French Cooking at Home.  She added spinach, but I was just not feeling that.

The filling can be whatever you feel like, but shallots make me happy.


2-3 Fresh* Eggs
(separated into two medium bowls)
2 to 2 1/2 Tbsp butter
1 Shallot, minced
Salt

*You can tell a fresh egg is fresh by how well it stays together when cracked onto a flat surface and how high the yolk sits.  The closer and higher, the fresher the egg.

10-inch non-stick skillet
Fitting lid

Another pan to saute the shallots in

Large whisk
Small whisk (or another whisk, I think the smaller one makes life easier)

• Saute shallots
• set aside and cover
• Beat the whites
• to medium peaks
• Season the yolks
• Beat the yolks
• over heat until lightened in color and sticky
• over simmering water is recommended, but not necessary
• I was lazy and impatient, so I didn't do this today
• Stir in a little of the whites into the yolks
• Fold the whites into the yolks
• Pour into a heated skillet with melted butter
• medium high
• Cover with lid
• I prefer a glass lid, so I can see what's going on
• When semi-set on top
• scatter shallots across top
• Cover again till gently set and browned on bottom
• Slid half-way onto a plate and fold over
• Enjoy!

I hope you have a wonderful new year.

Oh, and I have recently started a job (yay, paying bills!), and I'm not sure how often I'll be on here.  I intend on continuing this, though.

Bacon Wednesday: The birth of a tradition

Yes, you read that correctly.  

Bacon Wednesday

A Brief-ish Story:

So, as you may not realize, up until a few months ago, I avoided most pork products. 

Por qua?! 

Well, I've always loved Biology and even had that as one of my majors as an undergrad (WTF? Yeah, that's a different story).  There have been a handful of times that I've actually gotten grossed out.  The most infamous for me was in 5th grade when I learned about trichinosis and the trichinosis worm (yeah, you can look that up on your own... I started to and got grossed out again).

As a result, I lost my taste for pork products... even bacon... and I LOVED bacon.

Cut to a few months ago.  I accepted that many of the cooking shows I was filling my time with used bacon, namely apple-wood-smoked bacon and maple bacon.  It was actually starting to sound appetizing again.  I had previously done research and been assured that it's only really in wild pigs that trichinosis might be a problem, so I was taking baby steps

So, one night, I'm watching Kelsey's Essentials, and she's making this epic looking mac & cheese with bacon, and topped with bacon soaked panko bread crumbs.  I texted the picky eater, who was working super late, I WANT APPLE-WOOD-SMOKED BACON.

I woke the next day and found that I had bacon waiting for me.  Huzzah!

Yeah, the picky-eater knew that this opportunity was likely fleeting and had to be jumped-on.  Well done!

I had my first bacon in years, and it was glorious.

After eating it throughout the week, I realized that this should not be an every-day event, so I had an idea.

We don't go out a whole lot since all of our friends are busy, working people.  So, we didn't always have event to look forward to.

Bacon Wednesday was born! 

We make the effort to either have breakfast or brinner* together without the TV or other electronics on.

*(breakfast for dinner; yes, I poached it from Scrubs; I liked it, move on)

Wednesday is perfect because it's the middle of the week, and that's the perfect pick-me-up to look forward to.

My Favorite Bacon Wednesday Dish: "Not Eggs-Benny"

-Bake bacon on a rack

Keep a close eye on it and cook to your preference

I like mine a little crispier

(save drippings if you're into that) 

Before = eww

After = delicious

-Start the hollandaise (that's right)

The makings: melted butter on stove, 1 egg yolk, salt
1tsp cold water and 1tsp lemon juice, 1 Tbsp-ish cold butter
 (you'll also need 1 more Tbsp cold butter)

I am pretty stubborn and wanted to make it by hand using Mastering the Art of French Cooking
The first time I made it, I ended up making a pretty large batch.  The picky-eater ended up not liking it, so there was a LOT left over.

This was my first attempt at using only 1 egg yolk

• Melt 1/2 stick of butter and set it to the side

• Pour water and lemon juice into bowl with yolk
• beat until sticky

• Set over simmering water
• stir in bit of cold butte
• it'll be creamy
• beat until you can see the bottom of the bowl
• (yes, I realize that a glass bowl would be better, but I don't have one)
• (be prepared!)
• remove from heat and beat in cold Tbsp butter

• While beating, slowly pour in melted butter
• start with drops
• should be a very heavy cream
• don't add the milky stuff at bottom of melted butter

• Season with salt, pepper (if you like), and lemon juice
• some other folks add a dash of hot sauce, but I haven't tried that just yet
• keep warm...but not too warm, or it'll separate a bit
• it cooled a little too much, and it was reheated a little too quickly 
• the bowl needs to be well insulated
• (a glass bowl and/or heavy bottom non non-stick sauce pan is/are on the list of things to get)

• What about the rest of the lemon?
• If I have no pressing uses, I freeze it

-Fry an egg over-easy
  (it's actually super easy)

Sorry about the mess...

I learned a tip from Claire Robinson on 5-Ingredient-Fix.  I credit her with largely renewing my love of bacon.

Don't try flipping the egg
When the egg starts to turn white around the edges, pour a little bit of water into the pan and cover the pan with a lid (she used a metal lid). 

[This is also when I add the seasoning, it sticks]

... it was also cleaning day

She waits about a minute-and-a-half, but I don't like having to think about timing things.  Instead, I just use a glass lid so I can see when a proper film has been created over the yolk.





-Fry a piece of bread
(That's my preference, do whatever)

I like honey wheat.
Keep the heat on the pan going from the egg (wipe out any left-over egg if there is some... and you feel like it)
-->about medium to medium high, depending on your patience

Spray some olive oil directly onto the bread
(I have a refillable spray bottle that I keep it in)

Put the oiled side down onto the hot pan

Take this time to spray to other side of the bread

Flip when browned to your liking

Slide onto plate, top with bacon, then egg, then hollandaise

 Eat with fork and knife, so you can get all that awesome in every bite

You're welcome.